Adulthood does not come the day you turn 18, or the first paycheck you get, or when you are called grown. It comes in unannounced, in those times when nobody ever tells you anything.
In the choices you never imagined you had to choose. In the duties of which you never dreamed.
It is odd how adult life seems to experience freedom at a distance…. yet like a burden close. But somewhere between bills, heartache, deadlines, expectations and self-doubt, you start to realize there is something pretty about all of it:
Adulthood is not a place to go.
It is a gradual unravelling, a body of knowledge that can be learnt only by life.
You Learn That No One Is Coming to Save You, And That’s Not a Bad Thing
The initial actual lesson of growing up is when you understand the world does not wait for you.
No extensions of deadlines by teachers, no permission slips by parents, no safety nets. You are taught how to rescue yourself. The thought of being the author of your own life is frightening initially.
However, at this point, it becomes empowering. It is the time when you are not waiting for someone to come and fix your life, but instead start building it.
You Learn That People Change, Including You
Being an adult is an education in the fact of fluid relationships. There are those who go with you all through the seasons.
Others do continue to tarry a chapter, a moment, a lesson.
And there are times when you become too big to live in the rooms that you were familiar with.
- You quit pursuing one-sided friendships.
- You quit imposing heavy love.
- You quit being sorry that you have become somebody new.
It is among the most difficult facts of adulthood:
Letting go isn’t failure, it’s evolution.
You Learn That Money Matters, But Not in the Way You Think
Money was magic when it came to childhood. At maturity, it becomes mathematical.
You get to know that financial pressure can make you stay up at night, budgeting is survival, and comfort can even be more expensive than you thought.
But it is something money can never teach you:
The amount in your bank account does not bring peace.
It is the result of understanding that one can count on themselves, make excellent choices and recover even when life puts you on the floor.
You Learn That Time is the Most Expensive Thing You Own.
It comes to the point when you consult your calendar and see that you are spending your life in small fragments:
- Chores. Social obligations. Errands.
- And time is holy, all of a sudden.
- You begin to defend your mornings.
- You begin to say no with impunity.
- You begin to select things that do not overwhelm you but make you alive.
Manhood reveals the reality:
It is possible to always earn more money, but you can never make more time.
You Learn That Healing Isn’t Linear, And Growth Isn’t Loud
It is a silent adulthood, which nobody speaks of:
- Curing takes place in minor, uneventful instances.
- The day you get up and have a lighter load.
- The night you make peace with a person you will never see.
- The day you stand against making a point.
- Growth does not necessarily make itself known.
It is sometimes inconspicuous, gradual, and very intimate. But even adulthood is teaching you to celebrate those moments anyway -because they are making you.
You Learn That You’re Allowed to Rebuild as Many Times as You Need
The last lesson is, maybe, the most liberating:
- You can start over at any age.
- New career.
- New relationship.
- New boundaries.
- New version of yourself.
And there is no time to run out to be what you were born to be. One has only the bravery to start once again. And manhood, full of its perplexities, can teach you that you should have begun what you end.
Conclusion: Your Adult Life Is Yours to Shape, Start Today
Being an adult is not all about perfection. It is a matter of development, strength, and self-exploration.
It is about living the things you can only learn by experience, and being someone you would be proud of as you get older.
And should you seek advice or insight or someone to share your path with, there is a source worth studying.
Read Life Manual: The Unofficial Guide to Some of Life’s Most Common Experiences” by Christopher P. Combs: a kind, thought-provoking guide to the fact that you are not alone in transiting the various phases of life.
Let this book be your walk, and set you straight, and inspire as you mould your own way.
Grab your copy today and grow into the adult you were always meant to become.